A New Chapter
I am so happy to take part in this blog. I have had an INSANE past year so it is only fitting that I was asked to be a guest blogger on this site. You see, yesterday marked a turning point for me which I uncharacteristically made public on my facebook for all friends and family who had been speculating to see. Now it is out there….and I am not ashamed of it anymore. I am ready to start my new chapter. This is what I wrote:
Nine years ago today I vowed to stick with my husband “til death do us part”. I made that pledge on January 31st 2004. Guess what kids….I’m not dead….nor is he. Now fast forward 8 years…yes, on the day of our wedding anniversary….I received a certified letter at work from my then husband’s lawyer stating his intentions for a “dissolution of marriage”. Now, yes, we were having issues in our relationship prior to this and we had been in a month long argument at this point and I was not expecting flowers, but I certainly was not expecting a letter stating that our marriage is “irretrievably broken”. So the anniversary that I have been so accustomed to celebrating has a whole new meaning today. Today marks one year that my illusion of happily ever after was broken… apparently, irretrievably. Today also marks one year of exasperating struggle and unanticipated self-discovery.
I will not be sad today. I have too many wonderful and glorious things to be happy about; my son being at the top of that list. I have decided to take a different approach to this day. I will rejoice today. I am not going to lie…I loved being married. I loved my family and have been blessed with the perfect example of what a lasting marriage full of joy is – my own parents. I wanted that happily ever after so bad and never believed in divorce as an option. That was something that happened to other people but, like other people, it happened to me.
However, today I will rejoice. I am using today as a celebration of the happiness and love felt for my spouse during our relationship….the happiness and love that created Bobby. It was a beautiful chapter in my life and I will forever remind Bobby how he came to be because Mommy and Daddy loved each other so much and he is a product of that love. As a matter of fact, our wedding albums and mementos are tidily stored in a box labeled “BOBBY”….I would never rob my son of those memories.
Divorce is like a death. No….divorce is worse than a death. The person you once loved is gone. Unfortunately, he is now replaced with his evil spirit and because he is the father of my child….I am haunted at least three times a week….spooky, I know. I will not dwell nor is the purpose of my rant to focus on the negative. The point is, every death has a mourning period and I am glad to inform you that I am at peace with this event.
Instead of mourning, today I will rejoice. I will rejoice for the strength that I have gained– both physically and mentally. I have done SO MANY things for ME. Things I never thought possible. I have developed in so many aspects of my life that I can begin to mention but would take more than this blurb to describe. I am happy.
I am thankful. I am thankful for all of the family and friends that have been through this journey with me the past year. I am forever grateful for your support. For those of you who I’ve lost touch with and had no idea, it is ok….call me and we can catch up! Lastly, for the new friends I have made along the way…thank you. You are about to be part of a brand new chapter in my life…I welcome you…..and I’m excited!
So….Happy anniversary to me….Cheers.